We are surrounded by the virus on every turn, here in the south, and lately, I have found myself clinging to the safety of my family and loved ones with both hands, like a drowning victim to a life preserver ring, as if my fervid attention to their safety would somehow buffer and protect them.
This last week was particularly difficult. I felt overwhelmed and as if I was buckling under the pressure of carrying this heavy load.
Downloads abound, relentlessly. I have had headaches for days. I sleep like the dead but arise feeling exhausted. I let my fear take control and I know that I could not continue.
I had fallen into the very thing I know better than to fall in to.
I could not move forward with my hands tightly clenched, holding on to relationships I perceived as “mine” as if I have any ownership whatsoever. Learning to see through the “All is perfect” perspective had tripped me up, and forced me to see the choice I am making with my every step on this path. It is not enough to share what I am told by my guides. It is not enough to know what I know in my mind alone. I must completely engage my Heart Mind and embody these gifts of wisdom I am receiving and that is sometimes no simple task.
This path I have chosen is not always an easy one. It requires me to face my own fears and what I see as failures, own them and come to embrace them as the teachers they truly are. Sometimes I can do that easily, even eagerly. Sometimes, I go kicking and screaming. This was one of those moments. It wasn’t pretty.
As I sat with my predicament, allowing it to just be and observing all that I could, without the old judgment, I began to open and see more clearly. I saw it all. The funny thing is that when I reached the moment where I could allow the Light to shine through and illuminate me, my sense of humor restored itself and I found myself laughing at my predicament and seeing it for the self-made construct that it is. And at that moment, all doubt swept away as if it had never been at all and the Light opened my heart.
And so I was told:
We will repeat what you have come to see on your own, blessed child. This is your reality and your process is yours to discover on your own. We are here to love you, guide you and occasionally offer suggestions. The hard work is up to you. You know this.
The concept of love often gets tangled with fear. You are not alone in this. What you must remember is that Love transcends all limits and boundaries, exists in All Time and never ever ends. These Lights who inhabit your world do not stop being Lights because they no longer inhabit their physical bodies in this plane. Their Lights are still with you, part of you and part of All There Is.
Your fear cripples you, limiting your participation in your own life. This is not new to you.
The human race has a most remarkable capacity for self-sabotage and for love. Ironically, these two often offset each other in rather drastic ways. Self-sabotage is optional. Love is not, in that it exists with you or without you. Love is the Light of All Creation. Indeed, they are the same thing.
Remember to love with an open hand. It is not yours to own, but a gift that flows freely between you and others, to permeate your soul and heal your heart. While it may seem easy to fall into outworn and dysfunctional patterns of behavior in this time of profound change, the path forward is one of conscious and open-hearted steps forward, choices you make because they are in alignment with your soul’s purpose.  
You merely hoped you could carry this one little thing hidden in your back pocket forward with you and all would be well. Is this really what you wish to create in the New World? We know that it is not, as you do yourself. This heavy load you carry has begun to own you. Empty your pockets, take a deep breath and drop what you are carrying.
This is a lesson of Awakening. Embrace it as such. One must build from the ground up, on the ashes of the old. Fear not, for this is a cleansing, a releasing of much that is outworn and useless. Celebrate your willingness to let go of what no longer serves you and your willingness to make room for something new.

 


***This guidance column was written by Jan Finley for TheCosmicPath.com. It may be shared freely, but only when the author’s name and website are included.

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