Phoenix Burning
    October 6, 2019
    Yes, it's me. I am here. This is a one off blog I offer today, because I have been yearning to share with all of you what has happened. The image says it all.
    I remember all the sharing about the Virgo Stellium. That's kind of the last thing I remember. It was clearly designed to help us heal, to realign, to clear and prepare for a new life. For me this has turned out to be the understatement of the millennium.
    I have a Virgo stellium in my birth chart and it includes my karmic earth star chakra. In the interest of my usual open full disclosure ways, I offer up a condensed version of what has happened, and I leave it open for all. It is intense, and it isn't pretty and the Truth is it is far from over. But I  bear this most recent trial by fire as yet another opportunity to master my Self and my Life, and so I whole heartedly embrace it with a wide open heart.
    Many of you know I have been dealing with health issues for about seven years now. Earlier this year I dealt with a third recurrence of breast cancer, and moved through it all back to health. Part of that healing process included radiation therapy, and I know a lot of you witnessed me "kicking and screaming" over it. But I did get through it, and that was completed on June 15.
    On August 30, during a writing of the CC Book weekend, I became aware that my lungs were messed up. I wish I had learned from my first bout with autoimmune more of what to watch for. The radiation therapy triggered my old autoimmune disease. I went to my lung doctor immediately, and he took a CT scan and diagnosed me with radiation pneumonitis. That is something that happens to a few, and usually disappears with treatment after just a few days.
    But this did not. I went through three weeks of getting worse, until i got to a place where I could not take a breath without feeling like I was drowning. I went by ambulance to the hospital, landed in the ICU on September 23, with a very profound recurrence of kidney failure and bleeding into my lungs. They were ready to intubate me, but angels prevailed and they tried many things.
    During the course of the last 3 weeks, I have been unable to speak, I have been through two blood transfusions, 5 plasmaphoresis events, 5 dialysis. I have been on a respirator  from day one, and only yesterday did I begin to fully breathe on my own.
    On day two here in the ICU I was given a chemo infusion to stop the autoimmune attack and it worked. I have spent these last weeks clearing out the damage, to see just how much damage was done. We aren't sure yet, but it looks like God has graced me once again. They say I can fully recover, but it will take a while.
    The last time I was in the hospital for about 10 days, but then I got right back to work. I am so sorry to say I am still unable to do that. There is still a lingering issue that makes it hard to get back to my life in any reasonable way, and that is that at the moment I am unable to stand or walk,
    This means a rehab facility to learn to walk again. And that could take a week or a month.
    So that's the local story. The Truth is, this has been the full blown experience of the Phoenix burning. I have given my life for a new one and I promise you I am brand new. I am sorting through all that matters... and this is clearly a process that I need time to make happen.
    So please bear with me. I will write as I can, but I can't promise anything at this moment. I want to thank those many many of you who have reached out to lend Love, Light and support. You mean the world to me. I am making my way back to you, it's just taking longer than I ever dreamed.
    To close today, I am reprinting an email that moved me to tears.... I love you all, and I so appreciate those of you who have stayed with me (and those who chose not to). In times like these, there is no one, NO ONE that isn't important in my life.
    Hi Stephanie,
    I’m a non subscriber but have been reading your weekly horoscopes for some time and you are always spot on.  I read you, Michael Lutin, and the aquarium age page and I was sorry to hear you were not well.  I thought it was great for you to take a break, we all need a reset button!  However having had to deal with some health issues of my own I understand how hard it is to have illness strike suddenly.  I just wanted you to know how much I appreciate all the good work in the world that you do, it does not go unnoticed, and I sure hope that you are coming through whatever it is that ails you.  It may seem slow, but there is sunshine on the other side of this!  Take time to just “be” where ever you are, and enjoy each moment.
    I am visualizing only good results and hope you will be feeling better as soon as you can:)
    All the best,
    Deborah

    "You are standing on a bridge watching your Self go by."  Baba Ram Das

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